Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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