Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
