my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
