he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize