My hair reeks of homosexuality.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
