I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
