I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
