I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
