At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
