Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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