Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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