Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
