There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I touched a dick in church today
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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