I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
