Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
