The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
