My liver just broke up with me...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
