she woke up with a sticky ear
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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