I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
