remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
