Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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