I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
