He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
