it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
