I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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