So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
