I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
