there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
