There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
