8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
