But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
