i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
