my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
