Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
