I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
