The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
