That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
