i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
