It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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