I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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