Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
