Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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