im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
