I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
