Buhtt sex?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
