We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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