Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
