he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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