I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
