The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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