I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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