ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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